fitting in

When I was 7 years old, I was invited to the birthday party of a girl who lived up the street.  Paula was a couple of years younger than me, but it never seemed to matter when we were ripping down the slide or playing Ring-around-the-Rosie.

When I arrived at her birthday in my best party dress, though, it started to matter.

I looked around the room at the other girls playing and squealing and realized that I didn’t know a single other person there.  They were all Paula’s friends from school and because we were in different grades, and her other friends didn’t live on our street, they were strangers to me and had no advance knowledge of my awesome-ness.

Even way back then, when confronted with a room full of people I didn’t know, my first instinct was to withdraw.  Not wanting to disturb the already established group dynamic, I sat quietly on the fringe of the party watching the other girls rub balloons on their head and stick them to the walls.

After the gifts were opened, we gathered around the dining room table to eat our lunch of hotdogs and potato chips.

I had zoned out of the conversation for a bit – wallowing in my inability to integrate into the gaggle of girls, and giving myself an internal pep talk – when I heard the conversation turn to something I knew I could contribute to…

“I never get tired of chips!”  one girl announced.

“Me too,” another agreed, “I love chips!”

In a desperate effort to try to fit in, I piped up. “So do I!  My sister lets me stay up on Sunday nights to watch it – she likes Officer Jon, but I think Ponch is WAY better.  Last week they set up a sting to catch a gang of car thieves and then they went jet-skiing!”

All the girls around the table stared silently at me, for what felt like an eternity, until one finally piped up, “We were talking about potato chips Loser*.”

This very same thing happened to me yesterday at school.

*trust me, it was implied

About these ads

3 thoughts on “fitting in

  1. Teresa says:

    Boo :( Sad to hear that your day at school yesterday reminded you of bad childhood memories. It’s not easy to decide to go back to school as a mature student (and start over with people you don’t know at all), so be proud of the strength and courage you have. Your fellow foodie student (and non-student) friends are proud of you and you will ALWAYS “belong” with us! *big hugs*

    P.S. YOU ARE AWESOME!

  2. This made me giggle a lot – and I’ve been there, done that and didn’t get the cool tshirt with CHIPS across it!

  3. Kristine says:

    I sure appreciate your raw honesty-finding your place and fitting in is HARD. How do “grown-ups” make friends??? Love your blog!

Now it's your turn - share some joy with me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s