Well summer has finally descended on Edmonton, and you know what that means…motorcycles.
And the idiots that ride them.
Don’t get me wrong – not everyone who rides a motorbike is an idiot, but they do seem to attract more than their fair share.
The other night, for instance, Phil and I were driving home and happened to witness a fascinating social exercise unfold in the lanes directly in front of us.
It started with your typical, tough-guy biker dude – big guy on a chopper, all in black leather, wearing a bandana over his face – and then a kid sped up to him on a neon green dirt bike. The kid was wearing a bright, flashy (I’m assuming) dirt biking ensemble, complete with a video camera strapped to his matchy-matchy neon green helmet.
His (street legal?) dirt bike buzzed like a pre-pubescent bee as he tried to ride next to the original son of anarchy, but the tough guy wanted nothing to do with him so they kept jockeying for position to prove who was cooler.
Then, into the mix, sped a zippy little racing bike, and at the next red light, he and the tough-guy were trash talking and laughing at the dork on the dirt bike.
To save face, and prove his mettle to these motorcycle meanies, the dirt bike dork started popping wheelies and bouncing on his knobby tires down the freeway as soon as the light changed to match his fancy-boy outfit.
Not to be outdone, the speester sped (’cause that’s what speedsters do) in front and started displaying his own one-wheeled tricks as well, while the tough guy hung back, obviously way to cool to participate in these shenanigans.
Though nothing quite compares to the tart sitting on the back of her boyfriend’s bike, in a mini skirt, excitedly waving to her reflection in a store window when they were stopped at a red light.