Today we are reminded about just how awful bullying is and we are banding together to try and put a stop to it (WEAR PINK!).

I thought that was the perfect opportunity to re-post my letter to all the kids out there:

Dear Kids Today;

Being you is really heard.  School seems like your whole world, and all you want to do is fit in and be liked.  It feels like you are always running, trying to be part of the herd, not wanting to stand out, or be different in any way.  And if something inside you is screaming to get out, and you show even the tiniest bit of individuality (something that is super cool when you’re an adult), then you are teased and mocked relentlessly for it.

I hated (HATED!) my adolescence.  When I was in elementary school in a small town, I earned the nickname “bubba” because I was overweight, and “Dolly Parton” because I was the first one in my grade 4 class to wear a bra.  But the girl who had lice got it worse.

In junior high I was made fun because I dressed “like a 30-year old” (how ironic that I now dress like a 13-year-old!), I was taller than the rest of my class, and had yellow, crooked, buck teeth.  But the autistic girl got it worse.

I hoped high school would be different, I learned to make myself invisible.  I dressed like everyone else, I took up smoking because my friends did.  I became bulemic to make sure I wasn’t the fattest one in the room.  I kept my mouth shut, and my head down.  And things were going OK until I made out with a boy (who I loved with every fibre of my teenage body) at a party, only to have him tell everyone lies about me.  But the gay kid got it worse.

You see, it happens to everybody.  And I know that, right now, it feels like school will never end; that everybody is out to get you, and that nobody could possibly understand – but that’s the thing, everybody feels the same way.  Everybody wants to be accepted, and everybody is scared of being found out for who they really are – because growing up, we all hide who we really are in order to fit in.  Because fitting in and being cool seem like the most important thing in your life.

And even though it sometimes feels like things couldn’t get any worse and you just want the pain to stop – PLEASE don’t hurt yourself!  I know that sometimes it seems like cutting yourself, or killing yourself is your only option to escape the torment, but it’s not.  Find an adult you trust – a parent, a teacher, your friendly local blogger – and talk to them. There’s a good chance that they understand what you’re going through and how you’re feeling, and they may even be able to help you cope.  You may feel worthless, or stupid, or wrong – but you’re not.  I don’t want to get all preachy or clichéd on you, but God doesn’t fuck up.  He put you exactly where you are for a reason, and even if that reason may not be clear yet - wait, and it will be.  You just need to stick around to find out.

And I’ll let you in on a little secret – are you ready? – those people who are the meanest to you, the ones that never let up, and bully you or even hurt you…those people are the most scared of all, the most desperate to fit in.  So to hide their fear, they lash out at others – the “weak” ones, the easy targets – to try to feel better about themselves.  I know that doesn’t make it any easier when they call you fatty, or slut, or faggot; just know that it doesn’t matter, lift your head up and live your life.

I want you to understand that it doesn’t take strength to bully someone.  It doesn’t take courage to say mean things.  It doesn’t take toughness to hurt someone.  It takes real strength, and mad courage, and true toughness to be yourself.

And once you are out of school, none of that shit matters.  You can be whoever you want; who you are, and how you treat people will count for so much more than the way you dress, or how you do your hair, or who you date.  You can go where you want, and be with who you choose.  There are so many years ahead of you full of laughter, and passion, and love. You don’t want to miss those years, because they will be awesome.

Love,

To the bullies, mean girls and tough guys that get their jollies by treating others like shit;

Fuck you.

Sincerely,